My Hesitance in Participating in Gender Roles

To be honest, being so overtly feminine and gentle with a splash of 애교 offends me. I can't help but feel like I'm buying into the patriarchal gender divide if I participate in it. So when the social costs are high for opting out of it in my everyday interactions with most people... I don't know what to do... I regard it as my power and my freedom, therefore my integrity, to choose whether to participate or not. My freedom to be feminine and gentle with whom and in which circumstances. But I feel like it isn't in my power. Or at least the costs are high enough to discourage any real choice.